Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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