Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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