shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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