is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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