I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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