Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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