It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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