Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this boner is exhausting
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
