i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Two words: blizzard sex
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize