So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
