Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize