question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
