i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize