You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize