Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
