Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
