Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
