i don't like sucking hair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
