The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This house was built for laser tag.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
