shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
