Don't you send me to vm
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize