So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
