so that wasnt chicken after all
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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