Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
