My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
