Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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