Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
