So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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