Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
