No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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