My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
