We're facebook friends in real life
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so let's talk penis.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
