I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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