belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
