apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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