they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
