so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
