Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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