Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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