Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
