Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck appropriateness.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
