I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize