Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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