So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
