She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
