he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
two words: eviction party
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
