party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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