2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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