Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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