i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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