i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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