i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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