He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize