Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
