i already hear my dad disowning me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
