I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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