piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
