I didn't shave. On purpose
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
