If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
