put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
