May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
