i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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