Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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