I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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