Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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