one two three fourrrrnication!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
